Random Fun

My students can be a little corky sometimes. I’m not quite positive if it’s from the gap in the language or whether they just watch too much American TV.

First, let me tell you about “Fred.” This guy is funny as hell. He is an older smelly businessman that has no family or kids. His life involves going to working, eating, and watching Hollywood movies. But even spending over 3 hours a day watching videos in English he has very low communication skills. Another interesting fact about this fellow is that he has the most warped vocabulary you can imagine. Let me explain, he doesn’t understand simple words, or the words that we have on our 6th grade spelling tests but he understands some upper-level words and expressions that I find hilarious. For example he and I were talking about our biggest fears in life, and I said something easy like “death” or “getting lost on the train.” And he said that his biggest fear was, and I’m not joking and I’m not sure where he learned it, FEMINISTS! I couldn't help myself I wanted to laugh so hard, I even felt my pipes below starting to burst. Just picture this, it took me 5 minutes to explain what getting lost on the train meant but he comes back with feminists. What is up with that? I just sat there biting my lip trying not to laugh in his face. Another time he was telling me about something funny that happened at work, and then I asked him “how did you respond when you say that monkey in your lab throw poop at your coworker?” He said “what do you think, of course, I giggled like a little school girl.” What is this nonsense? He can’t even spell coffee correctly but he knows the expression “to giggle like a school girl.” Wow, sometimes I love this job.

Another fellow, “Bob,” (actually he is in the small class as Fred) and I were talking about him moving to America. I asked his what his biggest fear of moving to America was and he responded with “drunk-white-men.” (I didn’t know we were so intimidating to the Japanese.) I find it interesting that he didn’t say speaking English or finding food or driving on 10 lane highways or even homesickness. The fact that he said ‘drunk-white-men’ makes me wonder what has happened in his past to warrant such feelings.

A month before New Years I made and handed out a student survey and assessment form so that my students could express any opinions or concerns that they might have. I asked my older students what their occupation was and 90 percent of them put company staff, company employee, or office worker. Is that strange? If I asked someone in America the same question I think I would get a more detailed answer; like an electrical engineer, accountant, or an actual occupation not just some vague title. Another question I asked was “what are some of your future goals or ambitions?” and one student wrote, “I don't understand my future.” I’m sure he meant to say that he doesn’t know what his future holds or something to that effect. But, when I read this I giggle like a little schoolgirl. Another student wrote “To speak English without thinking I am Japanese.” I’m not exactly sure what that means but I think he or she really wants to speak fluently.

And my last incident will be about what a student chose for his item in the game ’20 Questions’. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with this game, basically one person chooses something; it can be anything that one can imagine, and the rest of the group has 20 questions to find out what this item is. Well this student, let’s call him “Retard,” chose a Toyota engine. Let me tell you about Retard really quickly. He requested to be placed in our highest class, which is basically fluent, and he can’t form a sentence without it being totally fucked up. Can you tell that this guy annoys me? Good thing he can’t read this. Well anyways, it was his turn and he chose a Toyota engine. I asked him if it was living and he said yes. Another student asked if we can eat it, Retard said yes. It continued on like this all the way until the last question. I told him that we give up and he needs to tell us the answer, and you wouldn’t believe how upset the other students got, I swear if I weren’t there they would have lynched him. You don't fuck with older Japanese businessmen or they will come after you. Basically, we were all played for fools. Retard needs to move to another class.

When you want to get a mental picture of Retard in your head just imagine him as one of these nice young men.

My New Year's Night

Spending New Years in Japan is completely different then the typical New Years in America, well at least from what I have experienced in my own past. In Japan, it (and it being New Years/Japanese people/Japanese culture) requires you to stay up for a grueling two days of drinking, dancing, a little more drinking, karaoke (which of course involves drinking), going to the closest shine and waiting 90 minutes in a line of stink, puck and $2-perfume all to throw 5 yen (maybe 4 cents) into a box and pray for good luck, and then finally after that is done you have you wait outside in the freezing weather to see the first sunrise of the new year. It sounds like fun if you spread it over a week or even a couple of days but all in one night, it's a killer.

Now knowing the summary of the night let me give you some of the highlights.

• Japanese clubs are insanely expensive: I paid 40 bucks to get in
You would think that I would have had a better opportunity cost with that $40
• I lost my voice singing karaoke
• No New Year’s KISS
• One of my friends made up with his GF after they had been fighting for a while
• Some toothless-bald samurai tried to rape me
• While waiting in line for the shine a 40-year-old man gropped my butt
Now that I think about it what is about me that attracts old Japanese molesters?
• My ears nearly fell off waiting for the sun to come up
• I had to wait 20 min on the train before I could sit down
• I over slept and missed my station by about 30 min (opps)

In conclusion, I had a lot of fun and I have some great memories of my ’07-’08 New Year’s night. What was even better was the 16 hours that I slept after I returned to my apartment.

This is me losing my voice. GO KARAOKE!!!

My Christmas Story

I would first like to apologize for my extended absence. Honestly, I haven’t been busy; I’m just really lazy.

So, lets pick up from the week before Christmas. My friend Chad from home came to Japan for a week or so. But I had work the majority of the time I was only fortunate enough to see him for two days. I took him to the traditional tourists spots and let him take lots of pictures. (It’s amazing how much we become like Japanese tourists. Taking every picture we can and trying not to forget a moment.) We went out to dinner with my friend Midori and ate all-you-can-eat yakiniku. Which is like Japanese BBQ. It was amazing. I thought I was going to die because I ate so much food. And on top of all the food the beer they gave me was in a liter mug. Being like the girl I am I wasn’t able to finish it so I had to share it with Midori.

That girl Midori is something else. Think of the traditional Japanese girl, being polite, nice and considerate. Now think of the complete opposite--- loud, crazy, and borderline rude sometimes, and that's Midori. During dinner the table next to us was eating something different then us and she demanded that they let Chad try what they were eating. If that wasn’t embarrassing enough, after we were finished eating, she told the boys next to us that they should introduce Chad to Japanese karaoke. At that moment I put head down and my tail between my legs, but they said okay and recommended their favorite karaoke spot. So the six of us all went and had a karaoke filled night.

Now its time for me to tell you about my Christmas story, well it’s not much of Christmas story actually. First you have to understand that they majority of people in Japan have NO IDEA what Christmas is about. Most of my students thought that it was a holiday invented by big business to make more money. And Christmas isn’t a national holiday in Japan. I had to work like any other day. But the day before Christmas was a Monday if I remember correctly, and that day was a national holiday. You would believe what they call it, HAPPY MONDAY. That's it. There is no reason for the holiday and it has no relation to Christmas. Even the idea of Christmas is lost in Japan. There is no spreading of love or of good deeds, and no anticipation of opening your presents on Christmas morning. The younger generations have turned it into a DATE holiday. It’s not uncommon for all the love hotels to be free on Christmas Eve. When I think of Christmas in Japan I think of chicken (KFC), Christmas cake, and love hotels. Sad.

To go on with my story, because I was in Japan for Christmas I though ‘while in Rome.’ So I found one of my cute-boyfriendless-friends to go on a date with. We went to the most popular “date spot” in Tokyo, it’s called Odaiba. This place was hoppin’, they have live bands, street performers, Ferris wheel, and a view that over looked the harbor. It was actually a great place for a date, except that it was winter and the wind was howling.
For our activities for the day we walked around, ate some lunch, watched a movie (which was in Japanese and when I entered the theater everyone stared at me like I wasn’t aware I was going to watch a Japanese movie with no subtitles). They movie was great, I highly recommend it, and you will probably shed a tear or two. It’s called Always. If you are bored on a Sunday afternoon go to blockbuster and check it out. After the movie we went to eat dinner but there was about a 2-hour wait for all the restaurants so we decided to go to a different city and find a place there. We found a nice cozy place, ate, talked, finished, and then parted ways. I wanted to hangout longer but I live in Butt-Fuck-Egypt so my last train is a little early. And that concludes my Christmas story.

Here is my bubble-afro version of me.

The Law of Equivalent Exchange

For some reason I feel that everything about me is changing. I feel that things that I have learned in the past don’t matter and that I have been doing things wrong this whole time. Maybe its because I’m in the country side and I have nothing but time to relax and reflect on myself and my past. I always thought that I was a decent person but the more I think about it the more I see my flaws. Again maybe it’s because of all this extra time I have and my past mistakes keep haunting me. I am beginning to see now that up until now that I have only been living for myself and not for others. I would like to change that.

Lets start the story with Saturday night. On my last class on Saturday there are usually four students but for some reason only one showed up. Because it became a private lesson I asked him what he would like to do, I had a lesson plan but it’s rare for him to have the opportunity to talk to me alone. He said that he just wanted to chat. So we did. I’m not quite sure how the topic came up but he stated telling me about his life and about how he has been very lonely lately. First you need to know that in the 90’s Japan was going through an economic depression and many had a hard time adjusting, many people resorted to suicide. He said that in the 90’s, he came home one day to find his family gone; his wife packed her and her child’s belongings and moved out. On top of that he was struggling financially. Then he began to tell me about all the times that he thought about committing suicide, but one day while he was coming home he found a injured cat on the side of the road. He picked it up and took it home. To make a long story short, after a lot of money and time he was able to nurse the cat back to health. And during that time he stopped thinking about suicide because he wanted to cat to get better. Then I asked him, “Who saved who?” It’s amazing how God chooses to effect and change our lives. I can’t stop thinking that something like that isn’t destiny but it’s an act of God. God didn’t solve his problems with money but love. That small cat probably saved his life.

After class was over I stayed behind for a couple hours to help the Japanese teach make flash cards. Well, I really stayed behind because it was early and I didn’t want to come home and be alone. We finished the cards and then I started on my way home. I was about 2 minutes from my apartment when a card decided to broadside my bike. I jammed my toe into the side of the car then proceeded to scrap my body against the road. (I know what I’m about to say will seem really stupid but at the time I felt it was the right thing.) When the man got out of the car I saw that he had been drinking, but there was just something about him that told me he was a good man and not some alcoholic, or maybe he was. But, I decided to let him go, he called his wife and she came to pick up him. I didn’t call the cops and I didn’t tell anyone about what happened. When I woke up the next morning my toe was still hurting so I decided to go to the hospital but they were CLOSED, who ever heard of a hospital being closed? Do people not get hurt on Sundays in Japan?

I had plans that day to go to a drinking party with some people at the school I studied abroad at last year. So I traveled the two hours on the train with my broken toe. I got there and had a great time with my friends, the alcohol was a great painkiller. I stayed there that night and went to school the next day with the other students. I wanted to say hello to some people and maybe say hello to some teachers, hoping to get a letter of rec from them. Nothing exciting happened at school except that one of the girls that I was friends with last year happens to live in Oyama (that's where I live). I was soooo excited because I hadn’t really made any friends, except for my students, and now I would have a friend. When she was done with her classes she and I returned home on the train together.

Her name is Yoko, she isn’t one of the cutest girls you have ever met but she has a great personality and there is something about her aura that seems pure, and good. On the way home on the train he contacted her family and told them about me and that I was living alone in Oyama and that I had no friends (well all my friends in Japan live over 2 hours away). Her mom said that I was welcome over any time and that if I was hungry to let her know and that they would send someone to pick me up. They are such a great family. They aren’t rich but they aren’t poor either. Yoko began to tell me about her family and THIS was the moment that I realized that I am very selfish and I want to change. She said that her mom always tells her and her sister that they need to live for others, not for themselves. If you have money, even just a little bit, and you can help someone and still live, then you should give the person money. She continued on about all the ways that he mom has taught her to help others in need. I didn't know what do to or what to say, a family that I didn’t even know has opened their house and hearts to me, I am very thankful. Being so far from home this is the first time I have felt the warmness of a family’s embrace.

The moral is that even if I do have a broken toe now, God has graced me with a kind and caring family. The law of equivalent exchange.

Living in Japan

Being here among all of these Japanese I have come to realize a couple things. First, when I was in America I was always comparing myself to other boys my age and felt that I needed to go to the gym everyday and get huge muscles. But now that urge is gone. I no longer compare myself to anyone, because there is no one out here to compare to. It's a great thing, it lets me think about other things besides "Should I go to the gym or not?" or "If I get bigger muscles will I be more popular?'
Along that same line of thinking, no matter how much or how hard I try to become more Japanese, or just try to fit into the culture, I know I never will. So that allows me to be free. When I realized this, a huge burden was lifted of my shoulders. I don't have to conform; I can be myself and be happy. Being abroad has given me a lot of time to do some self-reflection on my life and who I am.

Trouble in Little Tokyo

I don't know if you have heard about it or not, but recently, one of Japan's major English Schools closed town. It has left all of their Native English Teachers without job or home. The company didn't pay their teachers for two months, before plunging into the ground. Here is the NOVA school is my town.




I feel really bad for these teachers and also for the students that lost all that money. Where will these teachers go? Home? Or will they be able to find new jobs? Here are two pictures or messages that were left of the front door of NOVA by some students.

Design Fest 2007

This last Sunday I went to an event called Design Festa. It was AMAZING. There were over 6,000 artists, 10 live bands, food, and performances. I invited my friend Johnny to come along with me and I'm not joking, we walked around for probably 7 hours straight and we still didn't see everything. Here is a link to an album of pictures that I took. http://s217.photobucket.com/albums/cc216/bruinabroad/Design%20Festa%2007/. I hope you enjoy.

My attempt at art

I told you that I was painting so here is a link to some paintings and some sketches.

http://s217.photobucket.com/albums/cc216/bruinabroad/

Language and Students

First, I want to tell you about my friend Johnny (an American by the way). We went out for dinner with a couple of people for our friend's birthday. One of the girls had a little to much to drink so Johnny instead of saying "Wow, you're drunk," in Japanese, he said "Wow, you're fat." Everyone stopped and looked at him until he realized his mistake then everyone started laughing. The worst part is that the person whom he said it to was the birthday girl.:( So sad.

I gave my students my email address so that if they ever had any questions about English they would be able to ask me at anytime. One of the students never seemed to mail me. I asked him why he never did and he said that he doesn't have a phone. That's really rare in Japan for a Japanese person not to have a phone. So, I asked him why, he said that his wife would call him all the time and it's just easier for him if he lived without it. And on top of that, he sad that his wife doesn't give him enough allowance to have a phone. Hahahaha. Wow, when he told me this I couldn't help but laugh deep inside. Then once he left I had a little laugh to myself. I couldn't imagine my wife/girlfriend controlling my expenses.